Thursday, October 23, 2008
Past Days #4
Back in the old days, my family had to drive to work! They had to contend with traffic jams and stoplights. With a flying car, you won't have to worry about such trivial matters. Here at Flying Wheels, we put family first. Imagine being able to take the most direct route when flying your kids to school. This revolutionary technology will not only save you time, but it'll also make the world a safer place. Now at Flying Wheels, you can have your car modified for just $28,900. Come down to one of our locations: New York City, New York, Los Angeles, California, or Bejing, China. You could also buy one of our flying Mercades for just $250,000. Our brand cars include Mercades, Impalas and SUV's. You have to take a flying class and pass a test to get a license and registration for your flying vehicles. Our two year program will make you a better flier. Classes are complimentary with any purchase of one of our brand name products. Otherwise, classes cost $1,000.
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2 comments:
I like how enthusiastic you are in the first few sentences. When you were explaining how your family "used to have to drive to work" I thought that was pretty funny considering that is what we have to do now. I think that you could have explained more about the car and told us any features it had. If it’s just an add on to your car then maybe explain what is put on your everyday car to make it fly. I also think that if it is just an add on to a car you already have the beginning sentence is a bit confusing. The first sentence almost made it sound like everyday cars were gone all together so you may want to change that up.
I love the family aspect of the paragraph! It will thus appeal to a larger audience. Excellent choice of luxury vehicles too. They seem like they would be the names in the industry breaking the boundaries to luxury travel. And yikes to the fees of the vehicles. I would not like to pay that kind of money for something so time consuming, but am still intrigued with the concept. Well done with appealing your audience of well established and high income consumers.
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